Sometimes life just plain defeats me. I don’t get so much of why this world is so complex, relationships need so much energy, forward motion takes so much fuel.
I do know all the book answers; I just…
It’s like if you are playing tennis, and your opponent hits the ball way to the other side of the court, for the 50th time, and you didn’t get to the ball the other 49 times. You know you SHOULD run for the shot, but, well, doggonit, you probably won’t get to the ball in time, and it will be his point. You know how your feet feel at that point? Should I run or shouldn’t I?
Or, running in a road race, and you just gotta walk at the water table around mile 4 with 6 to go. Why bother making your body start running again? It takes, sometimes, more mental toughness than our conscious minds have.
So, ignore yourself, and keep working. It will be worth it.