I was watching “Schitt’s Creek” the other day. Johnny Rose, one of the motel’s proprietors, gets a Google Alert for the motel. The motel has gotten a bad review after Moira is ‘less than warm’ to a guest. Of course it’s a funny scene and part of a brilliant show that pulls lots of hilarity out of the ‘rich turned to poor’ trope. The true gift of the show the ‘love we found along the way’ message. If you’ve seen the show, you get it. If you haven’t, you probably don’t. All good.
I thought to myself: who sets up a Google Alert on themselves? Then I thought: probably a lot of people, and businesses, and creative directors, and managers, and public figures, and political figures, and all kinds of other people I haven’t thought of yet. I bet my friend who travels all over the world to speak to clients about ‘branding’ suggests it. I bet my super-intelligent and amazing sister in her role as a business coach recommends it.
I’ve just never thought of it. Until now.
So… I set up a Google Alert on my name “Ken A Locke”, just in case my writing has made me more famous than what I really am. Which, theonly thing the internet found is a few instances of this very blog, but that’s about it. Which is just fine. Someday my ‘as yet future self-published’ book that will sell dozens of copies (probably a lot to ME so I can give them away at Yankee Swap parties) will set off all kinds of Google Alerts for me.
When I asked for “Ken Locke” Alerts, there were a lot of them. Professors, doctors, deceased, librarians, teachers. I even found a long series of articles and discussions from a Dr. Kenneth Locke about homosexuality in different faiths. He seemed generally for it, but noted that the Hebrew texts tended to not support it, but didn’t call it super wrong. Just kinda wrong. But I only skimmed, so who knows (as Vonnegut often said)? What it didn’t find is the Kenneth Locke who was arrested in the county just northwest of us for something. A friend sent me a link to that article a few months ago. He wondered if I was in jail. Or at least being booked. It may have been a slow news week for him and he was hoping for some higher octane info. I hated to disappoint him, but I told him I was a free man; not even on the lam.
Anyway, I’ll let you know if I get an email with an alert. It’ll probably be nothing.